30. 01. 2019

The freedom of getting lost

“As we walk along the way, the way appears” Rumi

Let’s think of the freedom that poetry offers the poet…the term “poetic license”. Poems can offer suggestion, are metaphoric (visual metaphors), often richly symbolic, atmospheric, evoke mood and quality… Have meaning… Poems don’t need to adhere to grammatical rules or structures… Painting can be very simliar to poetry…

I loved letting myself be inspired by these masters of poetry painting: Chagall, Salvador Dali, William Turner, Beezy Bailey, Deborah Bell (floating symbols), Willie Bester, Dali, Klee (clay), Chagall (“Paris Landscape, “The Dream”), Beezy Bailey (“Citation”, “African Harvest”, “The End of Harvest”).

Initially, I felt a bit intimidated, but then I was reminded by what Dr. John Demartini teaches – “learn by standing on the shoulders of the greats”. Why not, who says that I cannot be the same as these masters? The feeling of intimidation, gave way to a sense of opportunity and gratitude, that I may learn from these masters. Let them inspire me, so that I may inspire others.

I felt a sense of calm during today´s session. No pressure. I decided to “go slow” – I keep hearing a gentle voice “…it´s not about finishing, it´s about the process and what you need, listening to yourself…” What a gift, the idea of not finishing. I carried this gift with me throughout the process. Allowing myself 1 hr for the collage warm-up vs. the allotted 30mins. Breaking barriers, changing behaviour. I couldn´t have felt more different, more the opposite to last week if I tried.

It was only towards the end, that I “tired” and slipped back into old habits, as I started preparing the base for my poetry painting – in my head, I was saying – Yay, I know what to do! – instead of staying in the moment and following the process. As a result, I ended up judging my strokes and colours and ended up with a “mess”. I knew I could always paint over it if I didn´t like it, but that didn´t make me feel better.

I reached a (tipping)point where I felt very frustrated, and at that moment it happened, I let go… What would happen if I just worked with this “mess”, if I accept it for what it is, accept that there is no right or wrong? I have experienced, particularly in the past week, that everything is, just as it should be – so is this “mess” then. Ok. So, I asked myself what would I like to add, or change, what resonates with me, right now in this moment? I took my new, round sponge brush and the child in me started to play – DOTS – I love dots, lots of sparkling dots, dappled lights, circles… and so I played like a child and suddenly I was no longer frustrated, but enjoying myself again, happy, in the now, just enjoying the moment. That´s it, I thought to myself – here it goes, my obsession with circles and dots, it made me smile, I never considered myself “dotty”, but I guess I am just that ;-). Today´s quote couldn´t have been more relevant – as I started to walk, I thought I knew the way and got lost. It was then when I carried on walking, with curiosity and an open heart, that the path revealed itself and JOY came flooding in. The same JOY, that I had felt whilst creating the collage during the warm-up process. Namasté.

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